The Green Straw

It's On A Need To Know Basis. . .

2006-07-23T20:01:00.000-07:00

And you need to know. So my dear, lovely husband has worked his butt off learning all kinds of things and ways to make my blog better and thanks to him I have a new home over at my NEW dot com. I will shortly be moving so don't be scared and/or surprised when you get redirected. For those that link me, please update links, it is MUCH appreciated. I can't wait to see how it goes over at my new digs. I admit I LOATHE change so I'm a little scared but as long as my fellow friends come with me, then I'll be fine. Let me know how everything turns out and if you have any suggestions let me know.

'Guess The Celebrity Legs' Winners!!!

2006-07-22T09:08:00.000-07:00

Those gams belonged to little. . . . . . . . .

Christina Aguilera!

And The Winner Are. . .

Julie
Jen
LA
Amy Lou
Courtney
Bobealia

Paula Abdul-Not So Pretty Look

2006-07-21T10:02:00.000-07:00

Time to go give those lumpy boobies a tune-up Paula. Okay folks I'm so freaking tired and I'm ready to go lay on my couch with my girls and veg. I'll see you all bright and early Monday morning. Enjoy your weekend. (I will come on and announce the winner though)

Free CD Give-A-Way!!!

2006-07-21T10:00:00.000-07:00

Yes you heard me right thanks to some lovely people I can now present y'all with the chance to win Paul Oakenfold's BRAND NEW CD, "A Lively Mind" . I'm sure you guys have heard the new single, "Faster Kill Pussycat" featuring Brittany Murphy, so if you're interested email me.

You can listen to Faster Kill Pussycat HERE and watch the video HERE.

Contest starts today Monday the 17th 2006 and will end Monday the 31st at 12pm (pst). Winner will be announced August 1st. It's really that easy y'all.

Dakota Fanning To Appear Nude In New Movie

2006-07-21T09:52:00.000-07:00

12 yr old Dakota is filming a movie right now in which she will appear nude and have near nude scenes. The movie is based on the young female lead character being sexually assaulted. If you'd like to read more about the role please visit TMZ.

As a mother to three girls I don't think I could ever stomach something like that. Period. The end. HELL NO!

Guess The Celebrity Legs

2006-07-21T09:48:00.000-07:00

One more round before the weekend comes. So here we go. . .

Can you guess who these celebrity legs belong too?

Clue 1: She was born in 1980

Pink At The Late Show W/ David Letterman

2006-07-21T09:40:00.000-07:00

Here's a good guessing game. Is Pink really a man? Or simply a lesbian? Or technically you could choose option C. which would be bi-sexual trannnie. Did I mention I kinda like Pink?

Jake Gyllenhaal & Lance Armstrong @ The Tour De France

2006-07-21T09:31:00.000-07:00

Holy Hell! Um, I just never knew Lance swung that way. It's obvious these two heart each other bad.

Ashlee Simpson Leaving The Ritz Carlton in NYC

2006-07-21T09:25:00.000-07:00

It's Paris Hilton, it's Jessica Simpson, No it's Super Changing Ashlee Simpson. I think she looks good in that generic way that all of Hollywood looks good. I don't know maybe I'm being bitchy or too critical but I would like to see her do her "own" thing instead of everyone else's. Oh and can she stop singing? Please?!

I HATE HATE HATE those FUGLY boots!

Gwen Stefani & Gavin Rossdale Attend A Charity Event.

2006-07-21T09:21:00.000-07:00

The charity event in question helps to benefit disabled children. I just thought everyone would like their daily dose of Gavin, Gwen & Kingston. I know they are close becoming one of my favorite families evah.

Kelly Clarkson On Her 'Addicted' Tour In Pittsburgh

2006-07-21T09:13:00.000-07:00

Um. . . I like Kelly's new CD along with the rest of suburbia. That being said are you sure she doesn't like to muff dive? Wait can I say that?

Calista Flockhart @ The ABC TCA Party

2006-07-21T09:06:00.000-07:00

Calista is set to be in a new show airing September so expect to see her face all over. Speaking of face, doesn't she look like a poor malnourished finch or maybe a parakeet?

Guess The Celebrity Beach Body Winners. . .

2006-07-21T08:59:00.000-07:00

This celebrity beach body belonged to none other then. . . .

DAVID BECKHAM

And the winners are. . .

Bobealia
Summer
La

Bai Ling-Drunken Whore of The Day. . .

2006-07-20T13:59:00.000-07:00

I bring you fine people a picture of Bai Ling which really speaks a thousand and one words; All of which are inappropriate and foul. I seriously, 100%, can NOT stand this stupid, dumb, drunken whore. She is a whore bag.

Hubby says I should have titled it 'Drunken Whore, Hidden Syphilis'.

Justin Timberlake In GQ Magazine

2006-07-20T11:14:00.000-07:00

Hmm... The jury is still out on whether or not I find him hot. I don't think I'm feeling the "military" look they did here but he's a rather sexy guy. Well except for the whole sleeping with Cameron Diaz thing.

So what do you guys think is Justin still a hottie?

Jennifer Garner & Baby Violet

2006-07-20T11:01:00.000-07:00

Here's my favorite girls having some mommy and me time. Jennifer is working on a new film but takes breaks to go be with her lovely daughter. The rumor is that Jennifer and Ben are planning on moving to Boston to help Violet have a "normal" life. I agree. Get out while you still can Jennifer!!!

Baby Vi. :0)

Lance Bass-Ugly Guy Of The Day

2006-07-20T10:55:00.000-07:00

Lance has been and will always been an ugly little man. I really wish he would just come out of the "closet". It's really just an insult to everyone's intelligence., I mean we all know your gay. We don't care. Come on Lance you can tell me. . . .

Guess This Celebrity Beach Body

2006-07-20T10:52:00.000-07:00

Here we go again and my money is that you guess this one right away. Can You Guess This Celebrity Beach Body?

Clue 1: He was born in 1975

Pamela Anderson In St. Tropez

2006-07-20T10:45:00.000-07:00

Speaking of whores with open mouths and bleached roots. Here's Pammie out on the beach (big surprise there). Rumor is she'll be a married "lady" in just a few days.

Jessica Simpson On MTV's TRL

2006-07-20T10:36:00.000-07:00

Here's Jessica with her mouth open and her roots bleached, like always. I really am in wonder of the fact that someone with such little intelligence can get so far in life. Honestly even Pamela Anderson is smarter then Jessica. For those that love them some Jessica enjoy the pics.

Speaking of MTV here's Ashanti at the MTV Studios.

Again with the prom dresses.

DAMN GIRL! You've gained a little and by a little I mean a good 20 lbs or so.

Jessica Biel At The 2006 Giffoni Film Festival

2006-07-20T10:27:00.000-07:00

Okay I love me some Jessica. No really, I have a small girl crush on her and while I find her pleasing to the eye I find this dress awful. Awfully boring.

Um WTF is this? Prom?! On a side note my vagina just clenched looking at those shoes. OMG they are hot!

No I was wrong it's not prom. It's a wedding she's attending. How sweet.

Brooke Shields & Baby

2006-07-20T10:23:00.000-07:00

Here's Brooke at LAX with her beautiful children.

What a beautiful child.

Petra Nemcova & James Blunt

2006-07-20T10:11:00.000-07:00

She is so damn beautiful. I could literally hate myself. Oh and take a lesson from James and go write a sappy song, make millions and maybe you too can have a girl like Petra. (I kid, I kid. Calm down)

She really is just beautiful.

How very Angelina Jolie-esque. Well if Angie ever wore white.

Guess The Celebrity Bicep Winners

2006-07-20T10:03:00.000-07:00

Okay since it was my first guy post I wanted to break y'all in and you did great. The biceps belong too.....

VIN DIESEL

And the Winners are. .

Bananarama
Karen!
Mooselet
Leisa
Rebecca

Guess The Celebrity Biceps

2006-07-19T11:53:00.000-07:00

Okay folks here we go again. Can you Guess The Celerbity Biceps?

Clue 1: He was born in 1967

Matthew McConaughey Doing Yoga On The Beach. . .

2006-07-19T11:16:00.000-07:00

Yoga has never looked so good.

Eddie Murphy Rumored To Marry Scary Spice

2006-07-19T11:00:00.000-07:00

Yep the rumor going around is that Eddie is planning on marrying Scary Spice aka Melanie B. I can see that happening and if it does good for them. To learn more go HERE.

Ashley Olsen In NYLON Magazine. . .

2006-07-19T10:44:00.000-07:00

These girls creep me out. It's like seeing a drunk girl at a party getting hassled by a bunch of guys. You know, you feel bad and want to save her but you know she's not going to accept your help and so you get angry cause that drunk bitch is ruining your high. Wait don't tell me I'm the only one???

I like this photo a lot. The shoes are a little out of control but GF needs all the height she can get.

Okay at first I really liked this photo until someone said she looked like a chimpanzee. Now all I can think of is she would have been great in The Planet of The Apes. This photo makes me nauseous.

Guess The Celebrity Behind WINNER!

2006-07-19T10:40:00.000-07:00

Okay I'm not sure whether to make it harder or not. You guys are far too fast. The behind in question belonged to none other then. . . . .

JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT

And The WINNER IS???

SHERI!

Kate Hudson In SoHo

2006-07-19T10:28:00.000-07:00

Here's our girl Kate working those flip-flops and sunglasses again. Okay from the photos and the strap of the purse I'm guessing Isabella Fiore. What do you guys think?

Rachel Weisz & New Baby Boy. . .

2006-07-19T10:13:00.000-07:00

Babies are far too cute and they make my ovaries quake with fear and sadness. No more babies for me but it's sure nice to see other little itty bitty people with parents that love them. Rachel's son is named Henry. I think. I mean, I'm pretty sure. Did I mention I was tired?

CLICK TO ENLARGE

Jessica Simpson At LAX

2006-07-19T10:03:00.000-07:00

Okay, WHAT THE HELL? As a fellow Southern Califronian I can say it's FREACKING HOT HERE! So why oh why are you wearing that ugly flannel Jess? Well good riddance. Let New York have you for awhile.

ATTENTION! Blogger is giving me issues and I'm not able to post as efficiently as I want. Added to that is the fact that Blogger wont let me upload photos, so for now the photo's wont enlarge. Sorry.

Salma Hayek & America Ferrera @ The TV Critics Association

2006-07-19T09:54:00.000-07:00

I don't post enough Salma do I? Well it's true I know, but only because she doesn't get out much. Well, that and the fact that I'm an evil jealous small little woman. Here's Salma at the TV Critics Association looking uhh, animated.

Britney Spears & Baby Sean Preston Out For A Walk. . .

2006-07-19T09:06:00.000-07:00

Wow until I saw these photo's I wasn't aware of how long it's been since I've seen pictures of her. It's been like what, a week?

Pamela Anderson Set To Get Married To Kid Rock!

2006-07-18T13:47:00.000-07:00

It seems Pammie has been a little shy of late and hasn't kept us up to date. Pamela Anderson's on again, off again fiance Kid Rock and her are set to get MARRIED. Yes you heard me, married. The planned nuptials are rumored to take place aboard a yacht in St. Tropez July 29th. Pam posted this entry on her personal Web site: "I’m Getting Remarried!!! Yes. I’m finally getting remarried…it’s been a whirlwind…spontaneous but well thought through. Feels like I’ve been stuck in a time warp. Not able to let go of MY family picture…it’s been sad and lonely and frustrating….I’ve raised my kids alone in hope of a miracle. Well my miracle came and went. And came back and came back because he knew that I’d wake up one day and realize that I was waiting for nothing. I’m moving on…I feel like I’m finally free….I’m in love. I’m happy….I see the light…sounds dramatic but it’s true…..I know some women can relate to this….My children are getting older. They know the truth and they are strong, smart kids. They love their Dad. They love their new Step Dad who they’ve known for years…time will pass. Wounds will heal. Some people may never grow up. Actions speak louder than words….watch!" --Source

Guess The Celebrity Behind!

2006-07-18T11:01:00.000-07:00

Here's another edition of 'Guess The Celebrity' and this time it's the behind. Let's see how quickly you guys can get this one.

Guess The Celebrity Behind. . .

Clue 1: She was born in 1979

Antonio Sabato Jr. & Ashley Jones

2006-07-18T10:53:00.000-07:00

I know her not but I remember my Antonio anywhere. I dreamed about him for years and years and I'm going to cry because that time has come to an end. My Antonio has done something to his face and he's like, he's like a stranger.

Vomit Inducer of The Day Brought To You By Paris Hilton

2006-07-18T10:43:00.000-07:00

Who else makes you vomit like Paris? Yeah nobody. Oh wait I know. How about. . . Brandon Davis kissing Paris Hilton? Oh man the convulsions of disgust that rippled through me, almost made me pee.

Beyonce's New Album Cover

2006-07-18T10:38:00.000-07:00

LOL. Okay listen I was over at Saving Face and the person that posted called her 'BeWeave' and that my friends is GOLD. Solid gold. This album cover is out of control. I honestly think the photoshop team went a little crazy.

Guess The Celebrity Legs Winner!

2006-07-18T10:29:00.000-07:00

Okay so yesterday many of you guessed Uma Thurman and while close those legs in fact belonged to. . . . . . . . . . MINNIE DRIVER! So the Winner is. . . 1. LA

Carmen Electra & Dave Navarro Split!

2006-07-18T10:20:00.000-07:00

So I found this out yesterday night but I was too tired to post it so here ya go, a day late and a dollar or five short. To read more about the "seperation" split visit HERE.

Personally I don't think ANYONE expected them to make. Especially considering Hollywood marriages last as long as my bath. Plus, you know, Dave really wants him some Tommy. Carmen just can't compete with that kind of thing.

Christina Aguilera On Her Way To The Olympic Concert

2006-07-18T10:10:00.000-07:00

Okay listen X-tina just because they're fake doesn't mean you don't have to wear a bra. Oh and those glasses are truly awful and somehow make you look even more ridiculous than usual.

My husband is an ass and called me bitter. Which means once I'm done burying his body I can get back to gossip. On a side note, I LOVE the skirt and shoes.

Kate Hudson Arriving At The Late Show W/ David Letterman

2006-07-18T10:00:00.001-07:00

Here's Kate looking lovely as usual. Honestly, a very pretty girl. Well, minus the thin lips and sun damage.

Chris Rock & Jada Pinkett-Smith

2006-07-18T09:50:00.000-07:00

Oh my gawd. What in the hell has happened to Ms. Jada? This is a perfect example of why women shouldn't take steroids. 'Cause really, Chris Rock looks more feminine then Jada. Damn girl. . .

Chris you better run before you go and piss her off.

Lindsay Lohan Trying To Rock A Blue Bikini

2006-07-18T09:41:00.000-07:00

Hell to the no, GF. Listen your hips are odd and I can only assume it's because you have none and your boobs aren't even held up properly. I know the guys don't care but I think maybe it's time you stop trying to whore yourself Linds and maybe make a real friend or two. Oh freckly one you could be so much better if you tried.

Ewan McGregor At The Premiere of "Stormbreaker".

2006-07-18T09:33:00.000-07:00

This is the London premiere of some movie I haven't heard about, but who really cares as long as we have photos of Ewan? Not feeling that youngen' that's hanging on to him, but, whatever, 2 for the price of 1.

No that isn't his pink razr and yes he is cool enough to pull it off.

I do not like you blond hair guy. I do not like you, Vi I am.

Guess These Celebrity Legs

2006-07-17T15:34:00.000-07:00

It's time once again to play one of my favorite games, "Guess The Celebrity". Here we have some legs and what nice legs they are. So can you. . . Guess These Celebrity Legs?

Clue one: She was born in 1970. More clues to come tomorrow.

Kate Hudson & Son Ryder

2006-07-17T15:07:00.000-07:00

Damn Kate is it really necessary to keep his hair THAT long?! It has to be hot with all that hair. As for Kate's dress, well I'd totally try to rock it. Not sure how it would look on a woman who's not a size 0 and has some breasts, but I'm willing to give it a shot.

(Click to enlarge)

For more Kate & Ryder pics visit JustJared.

Josh Holloway & Wife

2006-07-17T11:41:00.000-07:00

Hmmm. . . I'm debating on whether or not to be mean and honest or dance around the subject.

Um... His wife is ugly. Okay wait, she's ugly in comparison to the hotness that is Josh Holloway. Maybe if she was standing next to Tara Reid she'd appear beautiful or you know passable and clean.

That is an ugly purse. You have money gf you can afford to get yourself a better purse.

Marisa Miller At The Beach

2006-07-17T11:29:00.000-07:00

Who you ask? If your not a guy then you probably don't know who she is. She does a lot of "catalog" work with Victoria Secrets, The Perfect 10 and other semi-nude magazines. She really is quite gorgeous. Those implants are a little out of control but I'm sure the guys don't care.

With the mood that I am in all I really want to do is take that bikini and strangle her with it. No it's not PMS but thanks for asking.

Naomi Campbell Wrecks Boyfriends Yacht

2006-07-17T10:55:00.000-07:00

Here's an interesting tidbit of gossip. It seems Naomi went on a rampage when a chef aboard her boyfriends yacht failed to impress her with his cuisine. She asked him to make it romantic and when he "failed" she went crazy. What a stupid, arrogant, awful, bitch. She seriously needs some prozac or percocet or a good beat down. To read the full article go here.

Keira Knightley In Elle Magazine

2006-07-17T10:48:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure why the hell they made her pose the way they did but it just comes off as fish-esque. Keira's fortunate her enhanced lips come off as natural looking versus the ever popular ass lip look.

The "Little Fish" UK Premiere

2006-07-17T10:27:00.000-07:00

Juliette Lewis as always scares me but this time it's not her pleather & lycra clothing, it's her eyebrows.

Here's lovely Cate Blanchett looking less lovely and more like Courtney Love. Hey it's true so don't hate on me.

Paris Hilton's Ferret Runs For Freedom

2006-07-17T10:16:00.000-07:00

I think the ferret saw his opening and ran for it. Unfortunately Paris Hilton's long gangly arms can reach far into dark spaces. Hey, just ask her boyfriends.

That is one truly depressed ferret.

I can only imagine why she is so happy to get her "pet" back. . .

Tara Reid Still Drinking, Still Ugly. . .

2006-07-17T10:01:00.000-07:00

Oh GF you need to cover that shit up. You know this is one "celebrity" that can all make us feel better about ourselves.

In order to try and make my site go faster I'm posting low res. photos. Click on them to enlarge to their original quality. Let me know if it works and whether or not you like it.

Jennifer Love Hewitt At The CBS Summer TCA Party

2006-07-16T17:46:00.000-07:00

Here's Jennifer. The end. People have been pissing me off and I'm in no mood for little Ms. Perfect. What more can you say about a girl that looks and dresses the same for the last 10 years? Whatever.

Please click to enlarge.

Jake Gyllenhaal & Matthew McConaughey

2006-07-16T17:13:00.000-07:00

Seems our Jakie Pooh and Matthew McHottie are a little too close, if ya know what I'm saying and I think ya do.

Picture Dump-Opening Of Waist Down Skirts By Miuccia Prada

2006-07-15T20:41:00.000-07:00

Okay folks I'm back and I TANNED! I can not freaking believe it. Normally I burn and burn badly but today I tanned. Skin cancer here I come. Anyway here is some recent pics that I have yet to post this week. Enjoy them and enjoy your weekend. Here's Dita Von Teese, Amber Valletta, Heather Graham, & Molly Sims

4-1-1

2006-07-15T10:05:00.000-07:00

Right now I am in the middle of preparing everything for my NEW site which will look the same but feel oh so much better. I will be moving to a Dot.Com and a different hosting site. YEAH! So right now I'm trying to get my dot.com the way I want it and make a few changes, so bear with me if my page are slow or things are kooky. It has been brought to my attention that my site has been loading VERY slowly and I've decided to only have 1o posts on my site at a time. Let me know how you guys like it and if it helps at all. Have a great weekend, I'm off to the beach. Virenda

Dave Navarro & Tommy Lee's Kiss

2006-07-14T11:17:00.000-07:00

Well hot damn that's gross. These two are so riddled with disease and have banged so many women, men and animals that this kiss is ANYTHING but hot. However, I leave it up to you to decide my fellow readers.

Is this kiss HOT or NOT?

Jonathan Rhys Meyer-Josh Van Gelder Photoshoot

2006-07-14T10:52:00.000-07:00

I look at this man and honestly he's attractive but in a very "pretty" way. We'd have some mad competition if he decided to dress up like a woman.

Okay am I the only one that think he's the pretty version of Joaquin Phoenix? Maybe it's the eyes and hair. . . ?

Lindsay Lohan At The Opening Of Waist Down Skirts

2006-07-14T10:45:00.000-07:00

You know what Lindsay why don't you try being really "creative" and get sober? I'm tired of staring at your vacant eyes and oily hair. Be freaking original. Honestly get a life, cause you bore me.

Haylie Duff

2006-07-14T10:37:00.000-07:00

Haylie attended the "Coming Out" Party and can also be seen on Broadway in the musical, "Hairspray". When she's not eating oats are having her hide brushed she enjoys re-runs of Mr. Ed on Nick-at-Night. Please remember to be kind and not feed the animals.

(I kid)

Nick Lachey & Alyssa Milano Go To Sky Bar

2006-07-14T10:28:00.000-07:00

Holy Hell Batman! Nick is working his way through Hollywood like a wild brush fire. I'm pretty sure he's um, "been there" with just about every B list star we have. I'm a little scared to see who he goes for next.

Yep, we see you. . .

Listen buddy discretion and latex is your friend. You just remember that.

NSFW-You've Been Warned!

2006-07-14T10:22:00.000-07:00

I ran across this um "thread" and thought I'd post the link and let ya'll decide whether or not you want to view them. I firgured since I post enough vagina it would be only fair to show the penis. So I present to you.....

NSFW Hollywood Penis (I've yet to embrace that word)

Mary-Kate Olsen At The Opening Of Waist Down Skirts By Miuccia Prada

2006-07-14T10:17:00.000-07:00

Oh Mary-Kate maybe if you cut your oily hair then you would have enough strength to hold your head up. Just a thought. Um... Anyone have any garlic? Maybe some holy water?

Joaquin Phoenix At The Opening of Waist Down Skirts

2006-07-14T10:13:00.000-07:00

Oh Joaquin how I heart thee let me count the ways. . .

See I heart Joaquin in that he's so talented and real it makes him more attractive kind of way. Kinda like Adrien Brody only Adrien's more attractive and they way he kissed Halle Berry will be with me for years to come. *sigh*

Ashlee Simpson Out Shopping

2006-07-14T10:09:00.000-07:00

I heart Ashlee's shirt hard. I would rock that thing all day and twice on Sunday. However, that hat needs to be burned. It's fugly. Period. I know we should all be proud to be "natural" or something like that but Ashlee really does look better after her surgery. Sure she still needs to learn how to dress and wash her hair but she looks better.

Rachel Bilson & Her Sister

2006-07-14T10:04:00.000-07:00

Ahhh how cute are these two? It takes quite a woman to pull off that tent of a dress. I'd look pregnant but Rachel just looks adorable.

Love her little sisters sandals.

Pamela Anderson Still On Vacation. . .

2006-07-14T09:53:00.000-07:00

Okay your going to hate me, hell I'm going to hate myself but I think Pammie looks good here. She obviously loves the beach and girlfriend is rocking the top and shorts. I feel so dirty. Enjoy these pics of Pammie on vacation.

Okay you know I had to throw a bad one in there to make me feel better. Sunglasses do wonders y'all.

My Vacation

2006-07-13T19:39:00.000-07:00

Okay this post is going to be about me so for those who care pull up a chair and sit back while I spin you a tale of drunken fun and some mad blisters. I stayed here at the MGM and we stayed inside the "celebrity" suite which was so-so. We walked all over the strip where I sported my sexy shoes and yes thank you I did get quite a few "compliments". After those blisters we had the chance to see Pearl Jam in concert. Yes they were excellent and no they didn't play "Jeremy". Since it was still early at 11:45 I donned my slut clothes and hit this CLUB and danced my ass off till 4 am. It was fun minus the poor drunk girl that almost puked and was groped. A lot. I guess Vegas isn't for everyone. I had the chance to visit this bar and this bar where I drank THIS. Damn these are good. Thanks go out to Lena for the referral. I had the chance to eat at the Rainforest Cafe which just happened to be one of the first dates I went on with my now husband of 7 years. Cute I know. The best part was the volcano cake. YUM. I know by now you guys know I'm not much of a picture taker and have only a very few pics of me on my vacation and they are of the hotel variety soooo. . . I present to you..... Me.

I don't have the stomach or the nerve to just post em so click HERE, HERE, HERE & HERE. I'm much better looking in person, no really I am just ask Lena. :0)

Paris Hilton's Flippy-Flaps

2006-07-13T12:43:00.000-07:00

I give credit for the term *flippy-flaps to Lena from CheekyLotus, who by the way let me know about the naked crotch shots of Paris. Sure by now most of the free world has seen them but apparently these are considered "new" ones. I warn y'all that um, these are of the scary variety. In fact viewing them reminded me of elephants. If you watch Animal Planet or Nation Geographics then you know what's down. Hell if you've ever been to a zoo and saw an elephant then you know what I'm talking about. NSFW HERE & HERE *Lena created this term and I of course got it wrong. Flippy-flaps it is.

Mariah Carey Presenting At The ESPY Awards. . .

2006-07-13T11:20:00.000-07:00

Mariah is looking all tore up. Really, I'm at a loss for words.

Don't cry Mariah it'll be okay.

Oh get over yourself.

Guess The Celebrity Cellulite Winners

2006-07-13T11:04:00.000-07:00

I guess this was to easy for y'all. As you know the cellulite belongs to none other then. . . Pamela Anderson

And the Winners Are. . . 1. Becky 2. Lindsay 3. Mutterhals 4. Buttercup 5. Marcia 6. Dawn 7. Sheri 8. Bored Mommy

Uma Thurman At The Premiere Of "My Super Ex-Girlfriend"

2006-07-13T10:59:00.000-07:00

I am excited to see this movie, mostly because of the two main characters and the fact that I have estrogen. Hey, it's just that kind of movie. Uma is looking lovely although I don't know about the necklace nor the dress, it's all a kind of Ivy mess. 'Member when she was Poison Ivy in Batman?

Ashley Judd-Weird Look Of The Day

2006-07-13T10:51:00.000-07:00

(LOL) Gotta love the photographers that take these photos. Here's Ashley at the ESPY Awards.

Somewhere out there is a cold, naked, scared bridesmaid.

Nelly Furtado Arrives At The Late Show With David Letterman

2006-07-13T10:45:00.000-07:00

Okay so when I heard the song, "Promiscuous Girl" I rolled my eyes and turned the radio off. However on my vacation they played it at a club and it was a fantastic song to dance to. So I'm flip-flopping and now I like it. So sue me. Here's little Nelly looking fantastic on her way to meet with Dave.

Okay I have those shoes in a dark brown and they are so hot. I bought them in Vegas and wore them out and let's just say they were "appreciated".

That's a lot of teeth there Nelly. . .

Owen Wilson & Kate Hudson On MTV

2006-07-13T10:40:00.000-07:00

Oh wow, soooooo is that Owen on the right or left? I kid, I kid. Honestly if ya wanna know a secret, I have a small itsy bitsy thing for Owen. Then again FUNNY men do it for me.

Janet Jackson At The ESPY Awards

2006-07-13T10:35:00.000-07:00

Oh girlfriend you done lost your mind! Listen I'm all for losing weight and feeling good but WHO THE HELL told you that dress was a good idea? For the love of all that is holy and good, will you PLEASE STOP messing with your face?!

Beyonce On MTV's TRL

2006-07-13T10:28:00.000-07:00

So Beyonce says she has lost 20 lbs for her new upcoming movie and while I can't really tell from her body, her face sure does look different. I personally think she's hot and I WISH I could lose 20 FREAKIN' pounds. She said the secret is cereal. She loves granola cereal and whenever she has hunger pains she snacks on a handful or so. I guess it's time to go buy me some Grape Nuts.

DAMN! Girl is looking good. I was supposed to look like this going to BlogHer but instead I gained 5 lbs. Don't ask.

Brittany Murphy Attends The Groomsmen Premiere

2006-07-13T10:22:00.000-07:00

Okay so we all know Brittany is as pure as driven snowfall but I can't help but like her. I was totally her in 'Clueless' so I just can't hate. It helps to that she looks good in these photos. Generic but still good.

Don't look to close, GF has some bags she needs to get rid of.

Jessica Biel

2006-07-12T18:46:00.000-07:00

So the answer to the last Guess this winner was Jessica Biel. The only reason I even remembered to post it is because I ran across this photo of Jessica in a bathing suit and DAMN. That girl has got some serious bootie. You know, I really need to get back to the gym.

The WINNERS ARE. . .

Anonymous Emily (Linsey's sister)
Sheri
M-M-M-Mishy
Becky
Karen!

Who's That Lady, Lovely Lady. . .

2006-07-12T11:59:00.000-07:00

This is a two for one kinda post. First you get to guess who this is and second you can feel better about yourself.

GUESS THE CELEBRITY CELLULITE!

Born in the year 1967.

Lindsay Lohan In GQ Magazine

2006-07-12T11:33:00.000-07:00

Here's Lindsay slutting it up for GQ and doing a fairly good job of it. I think we ALL know by now that photoshop works miracles and this is yet another great example. Oh photoshop, oh photoshop, I love my dearrr photoshop.

Colin Farrell & Ewan McGregor-Hot Men Of The Day

2006-07-12T11:20:00.000-07:00

Well hell, having two at once makes them even hotter. I'll forget about Colin's past deeds if you will. . .

The two are on set filming some Woody Allen movie. Hmmm. . . I might actually go see this one.

Daisy Ryan-Cute Baby of The Day

2006-07-12T11:16:00.000-07:00

Here's Meg Ryan's cute little girl Daisy showing off her super cute pigtails.

Kate Bosworth & Brandon Routh at "Superman Returns" Photocall In London

2006-07-12T11:06:00.000-07:00

Okay first off we all know at this point that Kate needs to eat. We also know that there is a 75% chance Brandon is gay. HOWEVER, the movie was good. I saw it opening day in Vegas and I was pleasantly surprised. He sounds a lot like the original Superman and looks like him too. Oh and don't forget ladies they say that his package was to big for the screen and the digitally DE-hanced him. So if he is gay it should be a crime. ~sigh~

Trust me to truly enjoy him you have to watch the movie. I mean who doesn't love Superman?

Here's another great photo of Kate and her blue eyes with the brown freckle.

Michelle Williams Takes A Stroll With Daughter Matilda

2006-07-12T10:55:00.000-07:00

Oh Michelle have you been hanging out with Posh? Cause damn your skinny. Your daughter however is cute as a button.

Can I interest you in a hamburger?

Baby Matilda looks scared that her moms twiggy arms will give out and drop her. Don't worry Matilda your moms stronger then she appears.

Anyone else think Michelle is either A. Trying to channel Posh or B. Singing inside her head... "Bad to the bone Bad to the bone B-B-B-B-Bad to the bone B-B-B-B-Bad B-B-B-B-Bad Bad to the bone"

Shannen Doherty-Not So Pretty Look

2006-07-12T10:50:00.000-07:00

Here's out girl Shannen at the 2006 Summer Television Critics Press Tour. Wow that's a mouthful. Anyway I have nothing to say about Shannen unless she's gotten into another drunken car accident. Um, has she? I've been gone a week so it's possible.

Imagine her without any make-up. Scary isn't it? With the amount of alcohol she intakes daily I'm surprised she looks this good.

Jessica Simpson Celebrates Her 26th Birthday In Cabo

2006-07-12T10:43:00.000-07:00

Here's Jess at the beach in Cabo with her annoying hair stylist Ken Paves. I almost feel sorry for her that her only "true" friend is a paid stylist. Who by the way can't do hair for shit. Oh and Jess why are you trying to hide your stomach? Had a little Birthday surgery did ya?

What a sweet moment. Ken checks Barbie's extensions to make sure they haven't acquired deadly mold.

Lindsay Lohan Knows What She's Doing. . .

2006-07-12T10:30:00.000-07:00

Don't blow your tops people (get it) these pictures are of Lindsay acting out a scene in her new movie, 'Georgia Rule'. You know what? I think Lindsay can win an Academy with this one. No really, she's totally got the posture and finesse of a pro. WAIT! Is this what they call method acting?

Katie Holmes. . .

2006-07-12T10:19:00.000-07:00

Okay here we go. WHERE IS YOUR CHILD KATIE?! And who told you those pants look good? Every since meeting Tom, Katie has been looking all kinds of tore up, which is sad because if my memory serves me right she was once a cute girl.

I'm BACK!

2006-07-11T16:42:00.000-07:00

Yeahhhhh! I'm home and on the internet. Oh how I've missed you. I had a great vacation and other then some seriously sore feet things are great. I'll be back to gossiping early tomorrow morning and you know what? I'm nervous. It's been so long. . .

I'm Going On Vacation And I'm Gonna Get Wasted

2006-07-05T08:30:00.000-07:00

Well maybe not wasted- wasted but totally tipsy. Anyway, I leave tomorrow morning for my first vacation and I'm EXCITED. I used to live in Vegas for about 7 years and moved 3 years ago to Southern California so this will be my first time being a 'tourist' in Vegas. Plus I have the added bonus of being of legal age! I'll be back for sure by Tuesday morning, but I might drop in on the weekend. Have a wicked week and don't forget about me!

Johnny Depp Photo Shoot

2006-07-05T07:30:00.000-07:00

You'll always be my main man Johnny no matter what ridiculous hat you wear and whatever ugly facial hair you sport. I love you Johnny. I'm going to go totally make out with your poster from 'Edward Scissor Hands'.

Kate Hudson Rocking The Bikini

2006-07-05T07:06:00.000-07:00

I don't know much about Kate and that is just the way I like it. 'Cause the more I know about a celebrity the less I like them. Anyway here's Kate rocking a black bikini and playing with her SON Ryder. I know she has a flat chest but I like her natural body. It's a nice change from the Pam Anderson's of the world.

Everyone's Doing IT Why Not ME?

2006-07-05T06:50:00.000-07:00

Okay wanna know who this flabby ass belongs to? Click IT BABY!

Snakes On A Plane Movie Poster

2006-07-05T06:35:00.000-07:00

Proof that Samuel L. Jackson has sunk to a new low and will gladly whore himself out no matter the movie.

Pamela Anderson Vacations In St. Tropez

2006-07-05T06:30:00.000-07:00

Okay first things first, those are the wrong shoes to wear to take a stroll on the beach. I'm not going to make dumb blond jokes but Pammie's making it hard on me. Her massive chest is a joke though. Oh and the girl in black next to her has an awesome body and the sense to wear flats. Anyone know who she is?

Tara Reid DJ's For Time Supperclub In Montreal

2006-07-05T06:00:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile since we've seen us some Tara Reid and I thought I would torture y'all by bringing her back. Here she is pictured doing what she does best and that's partying and drinking. Although she admittedly looks pretty sober in these pics.